I did total acceptance and did not try to change or do anything—just to be aware of my craving once and let it be. Lying on my right side, I felt the early morning phase state and said, “Let’s try this,” even though it felt ordinary. I managed to clap and rub my hands, then rub all the way to my face and continue rubbing my face. I then rubbed my bed frame on the right.
Everything was still black and dark. I couldn’t see anything, but I managed to feel the bed frame on my right. I stepped on the floor and felt it, but I still couldn’t see anything. I continued touching—one hand on the floor, the other hand feeling my way to the door of my bedroom. I reached the door. My right hand (I think) and my left hand were still rubbing the floor. I tried to look at my hand, peering, but I could only see a transparent outline with no color. You could see through everything—it was all black.
Then I touched the floor with my left hand and the door with my right hand, rubbing. I felt the door’s surface even though there was no light and no color. I followed the door to the right and felt the doorknob after imagining it for a while. I turned it, opened the door, and entered the living room of my N-Park house. I couldn’t see anything—still very black. I turned around and touched the wall of my living room.
I heard my wife telling my son, “Daddy just woke up.” At that point, I also tapped the door of my bedroom, which I had just exited from, quite loudly, and I could hear the sound very clearly. I turned around, walked to the main door of my house, and opened it. Beyond the door, for the first time, I saw light and color clearly.
It was a Malay kampung-style house. There was a kampung mat on the floor, and the wall also had some kind of floor mat or wall mat. There was a window in front and another room to the right and left, I think. This time I could look at my hands and see their color. I could clap my hands, and my skin color was visible as well. Everything had light and color now—it was daytime.
I then stood up straight on the floor of the kampung house, feeling the surface with my feet as I walked barefoot. I walked around, clapping my hands and rubbing them as I went. I tried to touch objects, but it was actually an empty kampung house. Still, I rubbed my hands, clapped, rubbed again, and continued walking to the right-hand side. I kept clapping and rubbing as I walked, until the dream faded.
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