470-OB: Grabbing N-Park dinner table

 

7:02am

Did the Zaritski pacify method to fall asleep and then also got up at 4 something to pass urine and drink water and then Zaritski pacify again and again repeatedly falling asleep in and out in and out of sleep and then lying on my left I felt the early morning fuzzy daze state and I thought let's try to deepen this and I willed it to deepen and I also used my fingers to rub my fingers both sides once I could feel the fingers rubbing I gently brought the palms of my hands together.

I started rubbing my palms then I rub up to my forearms and to my face rub my face and then one hand, left hand continue rubbing my face while the right hand went to my chest to heal my heart and then later on move the right hand down to my prostate to heal my prostateand then I imagine now trying to rub the side of the bed frame and then I stood up on the floor of my bedroom and everything became clear.

I can see light and colour of my familiar bedroom I touched my curtain on the left and started walking towards the bookshelf in front and then I turned right and walked towards the door of my bedroom, the white colour door and then as I was about to open the door I knew that it was going to be the Raja Uda house outside but I didn't want to go to Raja Uda house, I wanted it to be N-Park living room.

So I opened the door and struggled to try to keep the outside to be N-Park and I imagined there to be N-Park living room and I was struggling with it and on the right I felt there was a piano there, I touched it and then in the centre I imagined there to be my N-Park table and that was a mistake, I should have just let it be natural if it's Raja Uda, let it be Raja Uda house but I was struggling to make it into N-Park and after a while the dream faded and what I should have done was if you just move whatever it is, whether Raja Uda or N-Park just accept it and flow with it.

I should have just alternatively walked straight to the main door, opened the door and walked out rather than trying to force the table to be there and trying to touch the table which is not there.