465-OB: Rub carpet in hall

 

7:47am

I did Joy On Demand and also Vajrayogini. I lay on my right, I had an early morning phase feeling and I allow him to deepen, I could hear background voices, it's like singing some kind of artificialhigh pitched sound, like a children, artificial robotic children's sound singing in the background.

Then I managed to grab my hands and rub it and also rub all the way to my face and then I rubbed my torso as well and then rubbed back up to my face. I was lying on the right edge of my bed and I used my left hand to touch the side of the bed frame and I rolled over onto the floor of my bedroom.

Everything was dark and I rubbed my both hands on the floor and then I rubbed forwards a little bit and I peered at my hand to try to bring in color and light, I peered at my back of my right hand and so it turned brown color and at the same time the light came into the world and everything became bright.

I saw that I was in a big living room and it was lighted and I was on the floor rubbing the carpet, it was thick carpet. There were some chairs on the right and left I think and curtains in the far distance and I rubbed a little bit too hard with my left hand and I felt my hand in bed move and I eased up a bitbut my right hand was okay.

I continued to rub but I rushed to bring my left hand back into the dream and the dream faded. Earlier I got up to pass urine and drink water around 5 something and I had a great difficulty falling back to sleep for a long time.

464-LD: Legs sink through bathroom floor

9:28 am

This is the third lucid dream tonight. I was lying on my left, earlier I did the Vajrayogini transformation to fall asleep and I dreamt I was having a bath in the toilet bathroom.

I was facing the toilet flush looking up and there was a shower head at the top of the toilet tank flush and there was also a transparent plastic container that contained sometransparent liquid which looks like shampoo.

I wanted to use the shower spray and I couldn't pull the shower spray because it was too high and I kept adjusting and I turned some tap and found that the water sprayed straight down onto the area in front of me.

There was some small tank I think and then I found that my legs were sinking into the floor and I was going lower and lower and I felt that this is so strange and I suspect it's a dream. So I clapped and rubbed my hands, I felt the familiar hand rubbing friction and I became so surprised and happy that this is a dream.  

So as my legs went through the floor, I sank lower and lower and I woke up.

 

463-LD: Pinched nose test forgotten dream

 

8:30 am

I suddenly realized this could be a dream. I clapped my hands and rubbed and felt the familiar rubbery feeling of palms rubbing. I then did pinched nose test and could breathe. I was so happy. I started walking forwards.

462-OB: PC monitor on bed

 

7:32 am

Doing mostly Vajrayogini, imagine myself as Vajrayogini, I managed to fall asleep. Got up as usual, drink water, go back to bed, again do Vajrayogini transformation and then lying on my left, I felt the phase state and it actually was a false awakening. I already in a dream but not aware of it.

I was lying on my bed and lying on my left. My wife got up and she wanted to send mother to hospital, earlier on I got up and turn off the aircon and she went to bathroom, then I went back to bed.

Then I fell asleep again lying on my left using Vajrayogini transformation. Then after she came out of bathroom, I think she wanted to pay some bill. The computer was in our bedroom but actually in real life the computer is not in our room but in this dream which is a false awakening which I'm not aware, the computer was in the room.

I was on the right side of the bed facing the wall and she asked me how to click, which part to click to pay the bil. From the bed I turn and look at her, I roll to the right and look at her and I told her click the column, there was a black Microsoft DOS window, I was referring to that but she couldn't understand so I was felt a bit irritated as I roll over, get up from bed, step up and went to the monitor to show her and but then the monitor was now on the bed.

The monitor suddenly was on the bed, then I try to look at the monitor while I was standing on her right, she was seated on the chair but I couldn't, I told her that oh, no clear, I cannot see clearly and felt irritated again and I said is it okay we do it tonight, we do it later and then she said okay, okay. 

So she went out of the bedroom to have breakfast probably and I went back to bed lying down on my left and lying down on the edge of the bed facing left and I was afraid I might fall off the bed but I said never mind. I just do it so I tried to induce the morning phase state and surprisingly it was so easy. I just imagined, imagine the phase state and I let it deepen and deepen. As it deepen I then tried to clap my hands and it was so easy, I managed to clap, I was so happy. 

I was not aware that all this was false awakening. I clapped my hands and rub it and rub it and rub the forearms all the way to my face, rub my face and then rub my body.

I was turning around and wanted to step up on floor beside my bed so I roll around to the right and let my body fall on the floor and as the body fell on the floor I landed on the floor and felt my feet on the ground on the floor of my bedroom.

Also my both hands felt the floor and I stand up. I stand up and then I walk towards the bedroom door. On the left I pass by the altar of Vajrayogini, I put both palms together and thank Vajrayogini for this out of body experience.

I open the bedroom door and step out and it was the Raja Uda house, upstairs, left was the banister. I felt my both palms on it and walked forward, felt both hands on the banister, I walked forward on the wooden floor and I thought to myself oh I don't want to explore Raja Uda house, I want to go somewhere else. 

So I continued to walk forward. Imagine there was a door in front, a white colored door appeared. I put my hand on the handle and my mistake was I didn't imagine enough what was going to be beyond the door and I was a bit rushed. I opened the door I tried to imagine beyond it is snow. Suddenly a snow-filled sky appeared and I should have imagined something else better, maybe another room or hall, but I was rushed. 

I opened the door and true enough it was snow and I walked through the door and fell into free fall and I was falling down and I yelled ah...  This was not what I expected for sure. I fell into free fall and I almost woke up there but then I held it together and I imagined landing in my bed which was a mistake.

So I landed on my bed and still facing left lying on my left and my right hand managed to touch the bed mattress and I woke up. Whatever you do in future don't ever imagine landing in your bed because the whole idea of out of body experience is to do separation.  That means to get out of bed but instead I imagine landing back in the bed and that's what triggered the end of the dream.

When I woke up only then I realized earlier on it was a false awakening. I should have done peering to make the objects have more color and luminosity and more clarity. Also, should have done continuous rubbing hands all the way so that when I fell down in free fall I could have recovered if necessary and re-enter the dream.

461-LD: Old watch and foggy mirror

 

7:18 am

I had difficulty going to go back to sleep. This is the second lucid dream.

So I lie down on my right.

I visualize myself transforming into Vajrayogini.

And also for a brief moment, I recite her mantra slowly.

And I managed to enter a dream.

I wasn't aware of it as a dream.

I was in a room.

And I was staying with Jerome and Michael Chai's house in KL.

And they were outside, somewhere in the house.

It was in the morning.

I noticed that my thinking was slow and sluggish.

And I was having a vague sense of a dreamy state.

And I was still aware of my doing Vajrayogini, transforming,

and visualizing myself as Vajrayogini.

And there was a bed on my left.

And I was looking at the wall or mirror and getting ready to go to school.

And I look at the clock, look at my watch.

I tried to check the time.

I was afraid that I might be late and I might miss the school bus.

So I took out the watch and look at the time.

And it was 8 something.

But it was an old watch and I didn't recognize it.

So I look for another watch and pick it up.

And again, it was an old watch.

And again, I didn't recognize it as mine.

And the time was also 8 something.

Then I was wondering, so quiet outside, have I missed the bus?

Then I suddenly realized that this could be a dream.

So I clapped my hands, did a pinch nose test, and I could breathe.

And I was so happy.

I knew that this is a dream.

And I was still in the dream, like between dream and waking. I went into

the bathroom and looked at the mirror but it was fogged. But I could see

my face was blurry because of the fog.

So I realized now that this is a false awakening.

The whole thing was a false awakening.

Trusting myself in Vajrayogini helped to overcome all the stress and the worries and the fears.

And I felt calm.

And that's what helped me when I could not sleep.

And that was the second dream.

453-OBE: Spiral spin to empty house

 

6:14am

I was doing the mindfulness all night long and also Vajrayogini.

And I got up, pass urine, at around 5 something, drank water and went back to bed.

And it worked. I found myself in the early morning phase state.

I was flying upwards, being pulled upwards.

And I imagined spinning, spinning the spiral first, spinning clockwise in the sky, facing the white sky.

And that deepened the feeling, the phase feeling.

And I allow it, try not to put too much force, but allow it to happen, relax, relax back and let things spontaneously develop.

And it worked. It deepened.

And then I started flying and now spinning in the anti-clockwise spiral, also facing the white sky.

And the whole thing became deeper and deeper.

And I started to fly, fly in the air.

And everything was white and no objects, there were no objects.

And then I wanted to go down to the ground and enter a building.

And I find myself flying inside, inside an old building.

It was a bit dark.

And by this time I think I remember to rub my hands, rub my hands.

And in order to bring light and color into the world, I peered at my right hand.

Then color and light appeared from my skin texture on my right hand.

And at the same time, beyond my right hand, in the background, the world became luminous and in color.

And I was in a room I can see beyond my right hand.

There was a wall on my right and I was walking.

It was like a very old grayish color abandoned big, big building.

So I rubbed the wall on the right with my right hand.

And as I rubbed, I continued walking.

And I spoke out loud, this is the wall.

As I touched an object, I also mentioned the name of the object.

This is a window.

Three times I think it this way.

And each time I spoke out loud, I could hear my voice clearly in the room as though I was actually walking, standing there walking.

It was so real.

And I continued exploring one room after another, trying to look for a way out.

And there was a few times I opened the doors and entered different parts of the house.

And there was one time I turned and looked up at the ceiling and the light bulb and willed there to be light.

And then I continued walking, exploring the building.

There were no furniture in this old abandoned, torn down house.

And one time I turned right and looked into the distance.

And it was blurred, the distance was blurred.

Even though it was like looking at the horizon, the dream was still stable.

I then turned left and continued walking, exploring the way out.

And continued to rub my palms together.

And I found a new trick.

I put my palms together.

And while my palms were together rubbing, I touched objects.

This ensured that in case the dream faded, I could still try to re-enter.

And also by keeping the palms continually together, I could continue to ensure the stability and lucidity of the dream.

I then continued to explore the place like this, touching objects, with the palms together, touching objects.

And I think I continued like this and finally reached one of the rooms where there was a window.

I opened the window, it was like an top-hinged-type window.

I opened it and I could see light outside.

It was quite narrow, but I managed to climb upwards and exit the house.

And now I'm outside.

Then there was someone on the left.

I asked him, what is his name?

He replied, War Nar Wah.

He was attending to some luggage.

And on the right, there was another person.

He wanted to exit to the outside.

There was light outside, daylight.

But there was a kind of curtain made of net blocking the exit.

I was still rubbing the palms on my hands together.

And I wanted to pull up the curtain.

But at this point, my awareness dropped like I was falling into sleep.

And because I lost it, that awareness slightly, the dream faded.

Earlier in the day, I did the Vajrasattva purification and Mandala ritual.

And I did it silently, internally, without voicing it out.

And before sleeping, I also prayed to Vajrayogini.

For blessing to get lucid dreams and OBE.

And then, at 5 something.

While getting up to pass urine and coming back to bed,

I stopped by the altar of Vajrayogini and also prayed for blessing, lucid dream and OBE.

Last week, I did not have a lucid dream for seven days.

I suspect because I was drinking coffee a few times for a few days.

And after that, I realized, I stopped drinking coffee except for decaf.

And I think it worked, now I'm having lucid dream three days in a row.

Another thing I did right after coming back to bed from pass urine.

I laid down my bed facing upwards so that I don't fall asleep too quickly.

Instead, I can be awake in and out of several dreams in a row.

And each time I exited a dream, I kept still and tried to test for the phase state.

And all the while, I kept lying down facing upwards, keeping still.

And I did rotate slightly to the right, slightly,

and tried to fall asleep again using the mindfulness of breathing in, breathing out,

feeling the whole body and calming the whole body, which is a technique I did all night long.

And after going in and out of the dream state like this a few times and for quite some time,

I then turned to the right and lay down on the right.

And that's when it happened. I entered the OBE from there.

Another thing I did right is celebrate every small victory.

For the past two nights after the one week, no lucid dream,

I celebrate every small victory even though it was not full exit.

I still recorded the dream.

My mistake in this OBE was that I let my awareness drop and doze off to sleep.

When you doze off to sleep inside the lucid dream,

it triggers awakening from the dream.

So the antidote to that is I should be more active,

more vigorously rub my hands together and be more active

by moving around maybe more actively with more force inside the dream.

Look around more vigorously perhaps,

and do peering, more peering at my hands,

and also continue to touch objects more actively.

Another thing. At the exit of this dream, my palms were together and rubbing.

I could still feel them together.

But I was half-hearted about going back into the dream because I wanted to remember the dream.

What maybe I should have done was re-enter the dream

and will myself to remember the contents of the dream where I just exited

and then relax into it, don't force it.

But continue to rub the hands and feel the hands more vigorously.

Use the psychic thinking, thinking of rubbing the hands and re-enter the dream

by trying to remember what it felt like while I was in the dream

and rubbing the hands at the same time.

To try (Dream Yoga Activities?):

Relaxing in lucid dreams cause dream to collapse, relaxing in waking state causes waking world to collapse? Try to do mindful breathing-feeling body, calming body and relax during waking state throughout the day. But not to do that in the dream. In the dream become more engaged. Maybe to try practice dream yoga control activities - once I mastered dream stability? I noticed dream yoga sadhana or meditation or loving-kindness or healing whilst dreaming - may tend to collapse the dream because it concentrates the mind. So, should I do dream-yoga activities instead? Eg, flying, walking through walls, becoming big and small, multiply self to many, transforming self to deity . . .

452-LD: Healing patients in bed

 

6:30am

Throughout the night, I did Mindfulness with Vajrayogini. I got up to pass urine as usual at 5 something. Went back to bed and did that technique and I lying on my right.

I've been doing the just aware of the dream state and something like NRA and just relax. I found that I'm already lucid in the dream and rubbed my hands.

I then flew up into the sky trying to go somewhere.

Landed and touched the green color grass. Rub it

and after that I wanted to do healing.

So I imagined there's some beds of patients sleeping in the beds

and I went to one each one of them and try to heal them

It was quite dark. So I tried peering at my right hand to bring light and colour into the dream world, but the dream faded.

451-OBE: Being Vajrayogini practising mindfulness

 

8:49am

I've been doing mindfulness all day long as a new technique.

And today night, throughout the night, I also did mindfulness

according to Satipatthana and based on this Joseph Goldstein.

And I got up pass urine, drink water, at 5 something

and back to bed and did mindfulness as well.

And then towards morning, I got an idea.

I combined Vajrayogini and mindfulness together

and I did breathing, feeling the whole body.

And breathing in, calming the whole body

breathing out, calming the whole body

and Vajrayogini combined. 

That means I imagined myself as Vajrayogini

and I also did the breathing, mindfulness.

And it worked, I was lying on my right.

And I came in and out, in and out of several dreams

and I also felt the hypnagogic state.

And then I was just coming out of one dream

where I felt I was in a room. It was a corridor, dark

and then I realized that this is a phase state.

And I will myself to clap and rub my hands.

And I managed to clap and rub my hands.

At first I was a bit too forceful

and I eased up a little bit.

And then managed to clap and rub more clearly.

I was so happy. I rubbed it and rubbed my hands

Then I bring my hands and rubbed my face

and rubbed my chest as well. And then the dream faded.

This is considered an OBE.

The important part about Joseph Goldstein's mindfulness is that

when he quoted the part from Satipatthana Sutta

where the Buddha taught:

To achieve mindfulness to a degree

just enough for bare knowledge for the continuity of mindfulness.

That means you don't have to be concerned with the content.

You just have to know that you are mindful, it's enough.

So I use that to let go of the stressful thoughts

and craving and so on for the experience of lucid dreams, OBE.

This is known as the mindfulness of the mind state.

And once the mind is calm, I let go.

I use awareness of mindfulness of the breathing

together with Vajrayogini.

Be aware of myself as Vajrayogini

and put her in my heart area.

Then just breathe and calm the body.

Breathe and be aware of the body and calm the body.

Breathing in and out, experiencing the whole body

and calm the body breathing in and out.