473-LD: Spinning above bed

 

7:21am

Did Zaritski, and also later I couldn’t sleep for such a long time. So I did surrender and acceptance, and later Zaritski again, and fell asleep on my right. I found myself in a dazed state, in a dream probably. I’m happy I clapped my hands, and then I was back in bed. I rubbed my hands and managed to rub, and then I tried to rub the mattress on the right. But I remembered that my wife was on my right, so I tried to rub my bed on my left, and I managed to rub. As I tried to rub the side of the bed frame, I found I was spinning. I remembered that I had to get out of bed and leave the bed and the room as fast as possible. But as I was trying to rub the side of the bed frame, everything was spinning, and I could hear the sound of my voice in the background saying, “Everything is spinning.” I could see myself floating above the bed, spinning counterclockwise. The bed was below me, and then the dream faded.

What I should have done was just accept the fact that I was spinning and floating above. I didn’t need to step out of bed—I was already outside, I had already left the body. I should have just floated away somewhere to a distant location and tried to touch the ground. Maybe I could have willed myself to find a garden, go down to the grass, and touch it—rather than forcing myself to come back to bed and get out of bed again.

472-OB: Rub carpet in living room

 

8:46am

I tried—Zaritsky—but if I managed to sleep in and out, in and out… and then I tried just asking, “Who am I? What am I trying to find? Myself?” And I found myself lying on my right side in bed, and in the early morning, I entered the phase state.

It felt so ordinary, but I thought, “Why not just try to deepen it and try to feel my fingers?” I managed to feel them, and I also imagined I could rub my hands—and I managed to rub them. I then rubbed my face, and I felt it. I tried to rub the bed frame on the left, and I managed to feel it.

I tried to sit up, but then my physical body moved. I then imagined myself standing in front of the bookshelf, and then imagined myself already at the door of my bedroom. I could see the door—white in colour. I felt it with both my palms and also felt the doorknob, and then I opened it.

I moved to the kitchen, then moved to the living room, to the centre, and there was a glass table. I touched it with both my hands, and then I almost lost the dream. But then I imagined rubbing my fingers together—both hands—and managed to maintain and bring back the dream.

Then I found myself in the living room, on the carpet, and I just lay down on the carpet. I felt so comfortable, and I rubbed the carpet, and the dream faded.

471-OB: Chinese primary school students singing in class

 

7:22am

Got up pass urine and drink water went back to bed couldn't sleep so I did Zaritski Pacify and lying on my right I felt the early morning phase state. I rubbed my fingers and I could feel it and then I tried to rub my hands but it was sluggish I managed to rub the face with my left hand and then my left hand also moved to my chest to heal my heart.

In the background I heard the sound of children speaking in Mandarin. There was also a Chinese teacher. The impression I got was that it was a primary school, Chinese school and the teacher was teaching them and the children were also singing singing something in I think Mandarin and I also got the impression that there was a Chinese school building there somewhere and the teacher mentioned in Mandarin Lee fan Yin is like acknowledging her or applauding her or something and the dream faded.

470-OB: Grabbing N-Park dinner table

 

7:02am

Did the Zaritski pacify method to fall asleep and then also got up at 4 something to pass urine and drink water and then Zaritski pacify again and again repeatedly falling asleep in and out in and out of sleep and then lying on my left I felt the early morning fuzzy daze state and I thought let's try to deepen this and I willed it to deepen and I also used my fingers to rub my fingers both sides once I could feel the fingers rubbing I gently brought the palms of my hands together.

I started rubbing my palms then I rub up to my forearms and to my face rub my face and then one hand, left hand continue rubbing my face while the right hand went to my chest to heal my heart and then later on move the right hand down to my prostate to heal my prostateand then I imagine now trying to rub the side of the bed frame and then I stood up on the floor of my bedroom and everything became clear.

I can see light and colour of my familiar bedroom I touched my curtain on the left and started walking towards the bookshelf in front and then I turned right and walked towards the door of my bedroom, the white colour door and then as I was about to open the door I knew that it was going to be the Raja Uda house outside but I didn't want to go to Raja Uda house, I wanted it to be N-Park living room.

So I opened the door and struggled to try to keep the outside to be N-Park and I imagined there to be N-Park living room and I was struggling with it and on the right I felt there was a piano there, I touched it and then in the centre I imagined there to be my N-Park table and that was a mistake, I should have just let it be natural if it's Raja Uda, let it be Raja Uda house but I was struggling to make it into N-Park and after a while the dream faded and what I should have done was if you just move whatever it is, whether Raja Uda or N-Park just accept it and flow with it.

I should have just alternatively walked straight to the main door, opened the door and walked out rather than trying to force the table to be there and trying to touch the table which is not there.

469-OB: USM basement carpark

 

7:05am

I did the Zaritski Pacify method of day practice and also at night before sleeping, one round or two rounds. And I got up, passed urine, drink water at around five something, and went back to bed doing Zaritski Pacify.  And lying on my right, I found myself in a fuzzy, dizzy feeling. And I thought, let's deepen this.  And I imagined also that I could clap and rub my hands. And to facilitate it, I rubbed the fingers also, which is easier.  Then I rubbed my hands gradually and rubbed the top of my hands all the way to my face and rubbed my face.

Then I tapped the right side of the bed frame deliberately. And then easily I swung over and stood up on the floor of my bedroom beside my bed. I then rubbed the side of the curtain and also the right side of the bed and move over to the shelf. And before I do that, as I was returning to move to the shelf, I looked at the bed and I saw WP lying down there on my right.  And I also felt the bed on my knees.  And as I walked to the left, my knees rubbed on the bed frame.

At first I thought WP would get up, and I quickly rushed to the bookshelf of my bedroom.  My intention is to quickly leave the bedroom.  And everything was clear as though I was really standing there. I opened the door, quickly walked, and I came out in the living room of my N-Park house. I quickly walked to the door, the wooden door, opened it, and ran out and walked to the pathway to my metal grill outside. And I opened the metal grill and pushed it open and walked out. I wasn't afraid if it was locked because I knew in this dream I could do anything I wanted, including penetrate through the grill if I had to.

And then I confidently walked to my lift. It was so real like I was there actually. I pressed the lift button and the lift door opened. And I entered the lift and the lift door closed. There was a proper plastic back flooring of the lift. I pressed the lift button to go down. There were only a few buttons, but I managed to find number one after searching for a while. Press number one, it went down. Then I played with the lift flooring just to keep the lucidity going. I opened the lift flooring and I could see below it.

Then I put it back again. Then when I finally reached the ground floor, I stepped out. And I can see very clearly the details of the area in front of the lift, including the marble flooring, the windows in front. And through it to the road in front. I turned left and walked and walked and walked. At first I wasn't sure what to imagine. On the left, I thought there was supposed to be at first the N-Park office, but I wasn't sure. And I walked to the opening at the far end and then stepped out to the road.

And I felt the side of the building going right to feel my way to the playground. The details were fading because I wasn't sure what to expect. I had more or less forgotten what it is like, this part of N-Park. Then as I touched the side of the wall to the other side, I saw the inside of the USM building, the library. And everything became clear after that. As I entered that part of the dream, I was at the USM library, the outside basement part, where there used to be the underground car park of USM.

And I walked on the road there and felt the surface of the road clearly. And there were people walking around as well. And then I walked in and I saw the right-hand side, some vehicles parked there. And on the right, on the left was a raised platform for walking. So I walked in the centre there and I decided why not let's fly. So I jumped up and flew and I was so happy I could fly straight. And below me there were some people walking around and I tried to touch them. There was this bald-headed man, I touched him as he walked from right to left.

After that, there was another man who was also bald-headed and I also touched him. And I also used my leg to poke his tummy just for fun. Then he turned and looked at me and I was afraid he was going to grab my leg, but he didn't. He just followed me and started talking to me. And I also spoke to him, we had a conversation. Then we walked together to the other part, the end of this underground car park. And as I was turning left, the dream faded. This is such a long, long dream, the longest so far, and it was so very clear. The whole dream was so realistic. 

468-OB: Healing while floating in night sky

 

7:57am

I did  Zaritski method all night long after getting up from bed to pass urine and went back to bed at 4 something and lying on my right, in and out, in and out of Zaritski method and I finally felt the early morning fuzzy feeling.

I then willed myself to feel my hands and rub and I managed to rub and then I also felt my face and rubbed my hands all the way up to the shoulder and then I turned, rolled over to the left and rubbed the side of the bed with my right palm.

I stood up on the floor, rubbed the curtain on the left, rubbed the bed on the right, walked over to the shelf in front and then I tried to walk to the door and I looked at my palms, I looked at my hands, peering, and the light and colour came into the world for a while.

But I was too rushed and I lost the light and colour and I propelled to the door of my bedroom, stopped briefly there and then burst through the door, I was too rushed and I fell into open black empty space and there was no light, no colour.

I then thought of doing healing so I brought the hands to my chest, healed my heart, felt the energy and then also healed my penis, prostate area and then healed my anus and I feel the energy went through the body and did the healing. And then I brought my hands to my left heel and healed my left heel as well and then the dream faded.

Earlier, after four rounds of Zaritski and I went back to sleep doing pacify method. 

Pacify method:

Relax and let go of stressful thoughts. As it dissipates, you will feel the calm and peace is already there in the background.  It is a mistake to try to feel calm and peace. Can use this method also throughout the day as emptiness practice. 

Principle is that when you are focused on stressful thoughts, it blocks the background stillness. When you relax that focus, it is like the murky water becoming still and the underneath calm is felt. So, you cannot bring about calm directly - instead you let go of stressful thoughts and calm will be felt as a result. Falling asleep is the same. You cannot fall asleep by effort - instead you relax the stressful thoughts - and sleep is the result. 

That background calm and spacious emptiness - is the real you. Free from suffering.

467-OB: Marble black NUS library

 

7:08 am

I did Zaritski method practicing all day long every time I had the chance to lie down and then tonight falling asleep I also did one round just to fall asleep as a practice. Then I got up, passed urine, at five, drink water, went to bed. I also did one round Zaritski and then intended every awakening I will perform Zaritski and I did it many many rounds every awakening Zaritski and then lying on my left I had a very very long very long out of body experience. 

I was doing Zaritski in and out many rounds and in one of it, I felt like a dazed state and I says okay since I'm in a fuzzy state let's will it to deepen and deepen and I willed myself to clap my hands and easily effortlessly the hands appeared in front and I clap and rub and then I rubbed the left hand side of the bed frame and I stood up on the floor of my bedroom, rolled over, stood up, stood up and then rubbed the curtain on the left and then I walked towards the the bookshelf in front, continued rubbing the side of the wall as I walked towards my bedroom door and I also looked at my hands, peered at it occasionally and effortlessly walked, reached the door of my bedroom.

Earlier Wai Peng already went outside to prepare breakfast for Darren and I knew both of them are outside and I opened the door and Darren was sitting at the table facing me. He looked straight at me but couldn't see me. It was so realistic that I thought maybe he might see me but he didn't see me and then Wai Peng was on the left walking in from the living room towards me and I walked towards the door of my apartment and then opened it. I was afraid Wai Ping might see me too but she didn't see me and she almost collided with me. I opened the door and left it open like that and then obviously they didn't see me. 

I'm just invisible and then I walked out of the house, went through the door and then continued to proceed to the metal gate outside and I thought I can walk through the metal gate. I said never mind and I just turned the metal gate push open without any key and it opens freely and I walked out onto the corridor of my house towards the lift and I reached the lift. There was a button, I pressed the button for the lift to come. I imagined the lift arrived and immediately the lift door opened and I stepped in and I see the metal floor. It was like very new, newer than my actual real life lift. 

I went in, the lift closed and there were no buttons but then I willed the button, the button appeared. I imagined pressing and I pressed the button and the lift went down. There was only one button and at first the lift door didn't open, keep going down and down. I imagined that it's already arrived and then the lift door opened, I stepped out and then by this time Darren was with me already. Then I stepped out, I saw outside was a granite structure. It was a dark greenish granite like a modern design and I imagined that this is NUS and I told Darren, come let me show you NUS and then we climbed up the stairs up to the top part and then there was another second flight of stairs leading up and then I willed this to be a library of NUS.

Then as I walked up the stairs it became a bit sluggish and then when I reached the top of the stairs there was the library entrance, I told Darren on the left is the food court. If you walk straight to the end you can see the food court and then there was the entrance of the library in front of us. Darren said okay let's go see the food court. I said okay why don't we see the library first. So as I was trying to walk to the library the dream faded. 

While I was in the lift earlier on my right was a mirror and I looked into the mirror and saw my face and I spoke to myself hey this is myself Paul Chin. Even though I was speaking but in the face the mirror was stationary, didn't move, the mouth was still and look my face was normal and young.

466-OB: Peering at hands in front of bedroom door

 

5:37 am

Throughout the day, I practiced the Zaritski Method and then before bed, I also practiced the Zaritski Method while lying down in bed. Then I went to sleep partially using the Zaritski Method and also Joy on Demand, got up at 4 a.m. pass urine, drink water and then went back to bed practicing the Zaritski Method just one round.

And then just Joy on Demand and the next awakening, I practiced the Zaritski Method while keeping still. And also I did it gently so that it helped me fall asleep as well. And I continued doing that for a few rounds. And then while lying on my right, in between the Zaritski Method, I felt steady, fuzzy. And then I imagined that I can clap my hands and I managed to will myself to go deeper and managed to clap my hands and rub it.

And then I rubbed my forearms up to the shoulder of both hands. And then I used my left hand and rubbed on the right hand side of the bed beside me and started rolling over to the right. And then I remember Wai Peng was sleeping on my right. I changed direction. I used my right hand and rolled over and rubbed the left hand side of the bed. I rolled my legs over onto the floor, stood up, and rubbed the wall, the curtain on my left. And then right hand, I also rubbed the mattress and I rubbed the curtain on my left.

And then I walked towards the book shelf in front. I then rubbed the book shelf and then in front of Vajrayogini. I gave thanks to Vajrayogini. Then I continued rubbing the wall on the left and walked towards the door of my room. Before I reached the door of my room, I peered at both my hands, one after another, looking at the skin texture until it turned brown. And then I also looked at the palm skin texture until it turned brown. The moment I could see my skin texture, light came into the room, light and colour.

And then I continued walking towards the door of my bedroom, continued to peer at my hands to maintain the light and colour. I opened the door, the knob handle, and walked into the living room. At first, it was partially dark. I then peered at my hands again and brought the light and colour into the living room. No need to use the switch to turn on the lights. The living room looked exactly like my apartment. I then walked towards the kitchen. The front part of the living room already had light and colour, so I walked to the kitchen.

It was still partially dark. There was a switch on the right wall. I tried to turn on the switch, but no light came. But it was okay. I then opened the bathroom door and the back room. It was dark inside, nobody there. Then I wanted to open the middle room door as well. I think I did. It was also dark. And then I turned right. I wanted to continue walking back to the front part of the living room. But then a dream faded. It was quite long, a dream.

Here is the Zaritski method I practiced. Upon awakening, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror. If nothing, try to roll to the side and stand up in the bedroom. If nothing, then go to the first round. Look at the closed eyelids for a few seconds. Followed by hear the sounds. Then try to move your phantom hand up and down. Then fall asleep. Then go to the second round. Before sleeping, you practice joy on demand demand. Then go to the second round and repeat, starting from looking at the closed eyelids. Then hear the sounds. Then move your phantom hand. Then fall asleep at the end of the second round. Then go to the third round and repeat the same thing. And finally at the fourth round, after you are moving the phantom hand, go to sleep using the joy on demand. And then at the next round, we are repeating the same thing.