Day 24 EQ Hotel

  Week 4 day 3

9.45 am in EQ Hotel KL with family. Sat on bed 30 min. Sometimes good concentration. The feeling of the beads in the hands plus the focus on the humming helps to sooth and calm the mind.

Mala day 23

 Week 4 day 2

At 6.30 am. Sat 30 mins. Good sitting. Pleasant. Felt calm throughout day. KL trip. Stayed at EQ Hotel from 3 pm.

Mala day 22 (Week 4 starts)

 Week 4 day 1

Sat 30 mins. Felt sleepy towards the end. Opened eyes to look at bright bedsheet in front and it helps to dispel sleepiness. Sometimes the pitch of recitation changes when I cough or clear throat.

Mala day 21

  Week 3 day 7

Did 30 mins. Just reciting and try to let it be natural and not to control it or to expect anything. 

Mala day 20

 Week 3 day 6

Did only 15 minutes today. Found voice quite tiring - seems to require lots of effort.

Mala day 19

  Week 3, day 5

No more in covid isolation.  Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat 30-mins cross legged on floor facing balcony. At first the bud-dho recitation was middle pitch. Not very deep. Later, after coughing and clearing throat, it spontaneously dropped to lower pitch. The deep hum appeared and the meditation deeper and soothing. Mind became calm. Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta too.

Mala day 18

 Week 3, day 4

Yesterday forgot to log. Today took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat for 30 cross-legged. Very soothing, pleasant and calm.  Using 12 mm diameter mala beads. Put attention very gently on the bud-dho recitation and just relaxing into it.

Mala day 16

  Week 3, day 2

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat cross-legged on bed for 30 mins. Focused on humming undertone. Very soothing and calm. Enjoyed the sitting. Shared merits with all beings and did some metta, too.

Ending covid isolation today. Rapid antigen tested negative for me and wife.

Mala day 15: deep hum calm + piti (Start of Week 3)

 Week 3, day 1

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat cross-legged on bed for 30 mins. The humming undertone is very soothing and peaceful. Felt piti in middle of head at times. Also heard a third voice - higher pitch bud-dho sound almost like a whisper. There are 3voices running in parallel:

1. bud-dho whisper higher pitched
2. bud-dho sound normal recitation pitch
3. humming low-frequency 

Very good sitting. Felt deeper than previous sittings. Dedicated merits to all beings and also metta.

Mala day 14: 3rd frequency tha

 Week 2, day 7

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts

Sat 30 mins bud-dho and felt peace and calm in the low-humming undertone. But noticed a new 3rd higher frequency "tha" that is in unison with the "dho" sound. When the bud-dho sound sinks into the humming undertone, this "tha" frequency becomes distinct.

Sometimes, also the bud-dho sound become softer and seems to recede further away. Dedicated merits to all beings and also some metta.

To prepare week 2 report for my teacher.

Used another new mala bead today, 10 mm diameter.

Malay day 13: bud-dho sound changes drowns into humming

 Week 2, day 6

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Sat cross legged on bed for 30 mins. Quite deep calm caused by the undertone humming of bud-dho. Very pleasant.

At times the bud-dho seems to recede further and further and seems to become quieter and quieter. At times it felt like the bud-dho sound drowns into the undertone humming. At times it sounds like it changed its sound to become something else.

In deep calm, it feels like the mind is drowned in the undertone humming. Felt slight piti in head.

Very good session.

Dedicated merits to all beings and also some metta.

Mala day 12: humming sound most calming

 Week 2, day 5

Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts.

Sat 45 mins on bed. Humming undertone of the bud-dho sound is still the most pleasant and calming. It draws the mind in and makes it silent.

Felt sleepiness in second half. Straightened spine and aroused piti to overcome it.

After 30 mins, I did TWIM on breath.

Dedicated merits and metta.

Mala day 10: piti at end of each breath

 Week 2, day 3

Tested covid negative today, but still remain isolated because wife still positive (day 9).

Sat cross legged on bed to do 30 mins. In second half, I put attention on the vibration of the hum in the head and piti arose a little. Pleasant. After a few rounds like this, I no need to put attention on vibration in head, just put awareness on bud-dho and its humming undertone is enough to bring piti. Sometimes my my head shakes sideways because of the piti. 

Piti arises at end of a breath - usually - that is what I noticed. I just let piti be in the background and put attention on bud-dho and its humming. There is also some sukha in the background.

Very good sitting. This confirms piti can be brought up at will. It is now stabilizing. I just need to recite bud-dho and put awareness on the bud-dho and its hum. 

I will let piti arise spontaneously like this in future sittings to let it stabilize more, so that sukha will be more stable. No hurry.

Mala day 9: piti in head overcomes sleepiness

 Week , day 2

Sat 30 mins cross-legged on bed. Felt sleepy at the end, but then I remembered that piti can be used to dispel sleepiness. So, without much effort, I, relaxed and put attention on the vibration of the humming ( buddho undertone) as felt in the head and immediately felt low-level piti in the head. The energy from this piti overcame the sleepiness.

Feels very pleasant and alert when piti arose in the head. The piti feels like ecstasy (excited joy/rapture).

In future sittings, I think I can use piti to:

1. arouse energy
2. arouse pleasure
3. dispel sleepiness
4. enjoy the sitting 

Nice!

I can also get piti from TWIM Meditation by relaxing the hindrances when they arise. In TWIM, I can get piti as follows:

1. when a hindrance arise (eg, restlessness, or ill-will)
2. relax and let go
3. smile

For buddho meditation, I can get piti as follows:

1. when a hindrance arise
2. relax and let go
3. put attention on the vibration of the buddho undertone hum as felt in the head

I will test this out again, in tomorrow's sitting - to confirm that it works.

Also, Ayya Khema says that when piti arises, sukha also arises, but it is covered by piti. In order to feel the sukha, we look for the happiness of the piti - that is the sukha.

However, piti and sukha only arises when there are are no hindrances - that is why the Buddha recommends the pleasure of piti and sukha for the bhikkus to enjoy. These are the supramundane-pleasures that arise only when the mind is secluded from sensual pleasure and secluded from unwholesome states of mind. 

piti --> sukha --> gladness/contentment --> equanimity --> nibbana

With cessation of piti --> sukha

With cessation of sukha --> gladness/contentment

With cessation of gladness/contentment --> equanimity

With cessation of equanimity(feelings/perception) --> nibbana

Mala day 8: sleepy (Week 2 begins)

Week 2, day 1 

Sat cross-legged on bed. 30 mins. Felt sleepy most of the sit. Tried straightening the spine but not much help. So I opened my eyes and that helps to wake up. Mind not focusing enough on the humming undertone like it used to.  Used my new mala bead today. Prior to this I used a dark brown one. Today's mala is brand new and much smoother. Light brown color. 8 mm diameter.

Today is day 7 of covid isolation. Still tested positive on rapid antigen test kit.

Dedicated merits to all beings and also metta.

Mala book project: Started today

 Today, I started a new kindle book project at kdp.amazon.com on a book about buddho meditation using a mala. Downloaded the paperback template from amazon:

https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G201834230

And use the 6" x 9" template with sample content as a starting point.  Tbe above link also contains useful tips for formatting and adding or deleting pages, sections, etc...

This book will be to document my learning experience with my master.

How to create a TOC for kindle ebook:

https://kdp.amazon.com/en_US/help/topic/G201605700

Useful

Mala Day 7: Reporting

 Sat cross-legged on bed. Did 30 mins. Drowsy at close to end of session. Sat straighter.   I still felt the soothing calm of the resonant sonorous humming undertone.  Got some background thoughts but still felt calm and pleasant. Whenever sounds or thoughts distract my attention, I gently let them be and return attention to the recitation undertone (humming). Occasionally, the attention goes to the fingers moving the beads, especially when it gets a little stuck, or, when the gurubead comes. But eventually attention goes back to the humming undertone. 

To prepare report for my master.

Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta.

Summary of week 1 (Sept 11 to 17)

1. Sitting is quite pleasant and calming.
2. Easier to stay on object of meditation as compared to other meditations (eg metta and breath).
3. The thing most pleasant about this technique is the undertone humming sound. The vibration is felt in the chest and head and sometimes permeates the body. The mind is just blank. Because the feeling is so pleasant it is easy to stay in it.
4. Unfortunately, when I use up the breath and take the next inhale, that calm is broken. But it comes back again with the next round of recitation and stays until the breath runs out again. So this process repeats itself until my handphone timer sounds at the 30th min.
5. Because of the pleasure felt in this meditation, the 5 hindrances rarely comes up. Restlessness is the easiest to let go - just come back to the humming undertone and the hindrance falls away. No force needed - it is quite natural - the mind prefers the soothing vibration than the restless thoughts.
6. But for sleepiness - I had to straighten my spine and sit up straighter - and that helps.
7. No issues with ill-will as I practice metta on and off the cushion - and I also smile a lot. Something I learnt from my TWIM meditation practice.
8. Sensual craving is also not an issue. The mind is quite contented with the pleasure from this meditation.
9. When not sitting in meditation, and craving or resistance arises, the mind sometimes sees that the dukkha is caused by the craving and the resistance. The mind then sees the anatta in the object of craving and that brings a big relief.
10. The mind sees that when trying to control a feeling, there is dukkha.
11. The mind also sees anicca - the feeling and thoughts arise on their own without the me causing it to arise, because of this seeing, the mind then sees anatta. The thoughts and feelings are not me or mine.
12. Unfortunately, the insights are only seen briefly. They do not sustain throughout the day.

Mala day 6: soothing

 Still on covid isolation day 5. Sat cross-legged on bed in bedroom. Although there were background thoughts I still felt the soothing calm of the resonant sonorous humming undertone.  I noticed there are 2 frequencies in parallel. The bud-dho frequency and the humming undertone frequency. This reminds me of binaural beats.

Today I let go of wanting to control recitation speed and mala movements. Just let them be spontaneous and natural.

The best sitting so far.

Feeling much better from covid. Drank Ah Huat coffee. Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta.

Mala day 5: sleepiness

 Sat on bed 2pm. Did 30 mins. Felt sleepy and dozed off at around 20 mins. Also, mind more restless. Tried lifting up beads for awhile. Not sure if it helped.

Still on covid isolation day 4 in bedroom. Dedicated merits to all beings and some metta.

Mala day 3

 9.30 to 10.00 sat cross legged on bed . Hands on legs holding mala. Took 3 refuge and 5 precepts. Have frequent itchiness in throat, and coughing  but I persisted. The undertone hum is peaceful. 

Day 2 covid isolation.