461-LD: Old watch and foggy mirror

 

7:18 am

I had difficulty going to go back to sleep. This is the second lucid dream.

So I lie down on my right.

I visualize myself transforming into Vajrayogini.

And also for a brief moment, I recite her mantra slowly.

And I managed to enter a dream.

I wasn't aware of it as a dream.

I was in a room.

And I was staying with Jerome and Michael Chai's house in KL.

And they were outside, somewhere in the house.

It was in the morning.

I noticed that my thinking was slow and sluggish.

And I was having a vague sense of a dreamy state.

And I was still aware of my doing Vajrayogini, transforming,

and visualizing myself as Vajrayogini.

And there was a bed on my left.

And I was looking at the wall or mirror and getting ready to go to school.

And I look at the clock, look at my watch.

I tried to check the time.

I was afraid that I might be late and I might miss the school bus.

So I took out the watch and look at the time.

And it was 8 something.

But it was an old watch and I didn't recognize it.

So I look for another watch and pick it up.

And again, it was an old watch.

And again, I didn't recognize it as mine.

And the time was also 8 something.

Then I was wondering, so quiet outside, have I missed the bus?

Then I suddenly realized that this could be a dream.

So I clapped my hands, did a pinch nose test, and I could breathe.

And I was so happy.

I knew that this is a dream.

And I was still in the dream, like between dream and waking. I went into

the bathroom and looked at the mirror but it was fogged. But I could see

my face was blurry because of the fog.

So I realized now that this is a false awakening.

The whole thing was a false awakening.

Trusting myself in Vajrayogini helped to overcome all the stress and the worries and the fears.

And I felt calm.

And that's what helped me when I could not sleep.

And that was the second dream.

460-OB: Tap bedframe loudly

 

4:59 am

I've been doing the joy-on-demand teachnique and got up, passed urine and drink water, went back to bed

and lying on my right, I had a dream, something related to lucid dreaming.

And then coming out of that dream, I found myself in a phase state

and I clapped and rubbed my hands and rubbed all the way to my face.

I was very happy and then I rubbed the bed frame on the left

and put my feet on the floor of my bedroom

and I stood up beside my bed.

And I also tapped the bed frame with my knuckes, with my fingers of my right hand

and I heard the sound of the tapping quite loud.

And then I also rubbed the curtains on my left

and I was about to walk forward, but the dream faded.

Earlier, going back to bed, I felt a vibration in the core of my torso, in the chest area, kind of humming

and I allowed it to deepen by itself, after that I went into a kind of non-lucid dream.

459-LD: Roll out from bedroom

 

8:34 am

I am practicing total acceptance and welcoming, lying on my right.

I went in and out of several dreams.

And in one of it, I dreamt I was in the middle bedroom of N-Park house.

I was supposed to be sleeping there, all sitting down.

And then the door was open and I rolled out.

And so I was surprised that I can roll out.

And when I looked out, I saw that the living room in the kitchen was empty.

It was dark. I expected to see my wife there, but it was empty.

Then I realized that it is a dream.

I was so happy. I clapped my hands and rubbed it.

And then the dream faded.

But I still managed to rub my finger against my palm as the dream faded.

And I thought to re-enter the dream.

458-OB: Drink orange in front of mirror

 

7:43 am

I did the tm mantra, and I managed to fall asleep easily.

Earlier, I got up from bed at five something to pass urine and drink water.

And then now, on my left, I entered the early morning phase state.

After a few times in and out of dreams,

I felt the phase state.

And then I wished that this could...

I then tried to feel my hands,

and clapped them, and I rubbed.

And I managed to do it.

Then I rubbed all the way up.

And early on, when the phase state began to be felt,

I wished for it to deepen.

And I was patient, not hurrying it.

And it really deepened.

And then I rubbed all the way to my face, patiently.

And then rubbed my chest.

And then I rubbed the side of the bed frame.

And I put my feet on the floor, the cement floor.

I could feel it, clearly.

It was a bit cold.

And I stood up in my bedroom beside my bed.

I then rubbed the curtain on my left.

And I rubbed the bed on the right.

And I also rubbed the floor with my hands.

And I walked towards the altar of Vajrayogini.

And I put my palms together.

I gave thanks to thank you, Vajrayogini.

I then knelt on the floor and did prostration in gratitude.

The room was a little dark.

I stood up and I walked towards the door of my bedroom.

I touched the wall on my left as I walked towards the door.

And when I reached the door, I stopped for a while, peering at my right hand.

And the right hand texture became clear, brownish skin color.

And at the same time, the door also became light gray color with textures.

And then I opened the door and looked outside.

It was a big room, big hall.

I saw the kitchen, but it was different from my N-Park one.

And it was semi-dark.

I walked towards the kitchen.

And on the right, I flipped on some switches.

It was the switch on the lights.

Then I imagined that the switch moved.

And once the switch moved, it was on position.

The yellow light on the left ceiling turned on.

I did the same with the second switch.

And then I turned around and walked towards the living room area

and also reached for the switches on the right wall.

I also turned on the switches.

And the yellow light came on.

And I did a few other light switches as well.

And for some of the light that went off, I reimagined the light on again.

And it came on again.

I was so happy.

I now walked towards the front part.

And then I saw a bright area.

And this was actually the kitchen, the pantry.

And there were people there.

And there was a fridge.

I opened the fridge.

And inside there were many drinks, bottle drinks.

I took out one orange colored bottle,

opened the cap and drank it and tasted orange juice.

And it was so real.

And I talked to people there.

There was a boy on the left.

In front of me there was a mirror.

I looked into it and saw my reflection.

I looked a little bit like Blake.

A bit plumpish.

I then tapped on the mirror with my right knuckle

and spoke to myself.

This is you. This is who I am.

And I'm really here.

And then I told myself, enjoy.

And I turned back.

And the boy who looks a bit like B.S. Lim's son,

he asked me, where is your spouse?

And I replied something.

And I turned left.

And then I turned right again.

And I wanted to continue walking.

And then the dream faded.

So the trick is to use the tm mantra to go deep.

Only then, when you're deep enough, you can reach the state.

So that's why, while I'm on the left,

I felt faintly the early morning phase state.

And then it was enough.

I will imagine it to deepen.

And it deepened.

As it deepened, I need to be patient, not to rush.

And once it's deep enough, I then imagine my hands

rubbing it and clapping it.

And then it made all the difference.

The exit technique.

During the day, I did joy on demand throughout the day.

And before I sleep, I also did joy on demand.

Only after getting up at 4 o'clock and going back to bed,

when all else failed, then I did the tm mantra.

And it really worked to go deep.

Here's the trick.

When you start to feel the very faint early morning phase state,

that's the time you don't rush.

But you're very subtle and gentle.

You wish that it deepened.

And allow it to deepen on its own.

Don't force it.

And as it deepens, you will feel the fuzzy feeling.

Very dull humming and fuzzy feeling.

And then once it deepens, it's like you are moving backwards

a little bit, like falling backwards.

And that's a sign that you can start to materialize the hands.

So that's the time you wish that you can imagine your hands in front

and when it appears you start clapping and rubbing.

And that's all.

The exit technique.

457-LD: Big wooden-style legal office

 

6:39am

I did mindfulness of breathing in and out, and also feeling the whole body.

I got up to pass urine at 5 something, went back to bed, lying on my left, did the mindfulness to fall asleep.

I got in and out, in and out of several dreams.

Then, in one dream, I dream I was working as a clerk in a legal firm.

I was sitting in a very big, big office hall. It's made of wood and huge.

There were so many staff. I was sitting somewhere at the back.

There was a chief clerk on the left giving instructions, and everybody now has to go out for lunch.

There were some rules during lunch. Everybody has to vacate office and must do it fast.

There was a chief clerk there, shooing everybody out.

The last two person out was just me and another lady. She quickly dashed out of the open door, while the chief clerk was waiting on the left.

I followed quickly and ran out of the door too.

Outside now, there was a corridor. It was outdoors.

On the left, there was a row of shrubs, bushes.

I wanted to fly, so I got up and flew above the bushes and went out into the sky.

After lunch, I came back into the legal firm, but sat at somebody else's table in front, nearer to the exit.

It was a wooden table, and there was a senior staff, a man, Chinese in front, and there were other staff sitting left and right.

We were going to try to do some experiment to induce some kind of lucid dreaming state.

They gave me a piece of tissue paper, folded in triangular shape.

I was supposed to press it to cover my left eye.

I noticed there were some stains on the tissue paper used to wipe my mouth earlier.

I then put my elbows on the table and used my left hand to cover the tissue paper over my left eye, and with my right hand, I did the same thing over my right eye.

And then I had the feeling that once I did that, I'm going to enter a very deep state, a deep phase state, and all the rest will just find it difficult to wake me up later.

I then entered into a phase state and became lucid in that this is a dream.

I saw a vision of me looking through a peephole at a table where I was sitting, and I got so excited.

I said, yes, this is it, and I almost lost the dream there.

But then I calmed down and entered the dream again, and I was so happy.

I started to walk, and I walked away from the table, and I tapped the floor with my hands and felt the cement floor.

And then I also touched objects on my right, and I rubbed my hands and felt the arms and hands rubbing.

I walked past the bookshelf, and I pulled out some books and let it land on the floor.

I had to keep moving to keep lucidity going.

I then talked to myself. I said, yes, Paul, you did it.

And I could hear myself talking clearly in this dream.

I was excited and happy, and I continued walking forward like this, a bit rushed.

And then the dream faded.

The mistake was my hands were not rubbing together, so I could not re-enter the dream and I also

did not peer at my hands to bring in more clarity.

My main practice today and at night as well was, no matter what, just do your best to try to feel the breath mindfully, and also feel the whole body while breathing.

Do your best, even though it's not easy, just do your best, but always try it.

And then during the day it's also the same.

In any action that you do throughout the day, just try your best to be as mindful of the breath, and then the breathing with the whole body as well.

Just be patient, and also don't force it. Be gentle while you're doing this.

456-LD: Muse-Indian on bicycle

 

9:38am

This is the second lucid dream. I went to bed again, practicing MUSE breathing, counting breathing in, out, counting one in, two out, one out, two in, two out, and then feeling the whole body repeating the same thing.

In, feel the whole body, two breathe, feel the whole body, and then I went in and out with several dreams, and each time I came out of the dream, I can easily go back to sleep just by doing the counting of the breath, thanks to the MUSE breathing, which I restarted earlier yesterday. I stopped MUSE for, I think one year plus, now I restarted again.

So in this second lucid dream, I was, found myself in a building, and I think it was white, inside, I was inside, and then realized that this could be a dream, and I clapped my hands, and I heard the clapping, it was so loud, and the clap feels very real, more real than

the other previous OBS and dreams.

And then I started flying, flying around, and I touched everything as I flew, I touched, and I flew out of the building, I flew very fast, up in the air, like Superman, and I flew with wild abandoned, not bothering whether or not the dream would fade, and below me the scenery zoomed very fast, and then I decided to land somewhere, and I landed on the grass, in the daytime, it was open area, there were houses all around, and I flew quite fast as I landed, and I rubbed my hands across the grass, the grass felt very real, and I was so happy.

And I also went to a tree, tree trunk, I put my both hands on the tree and touched it, and I could see some words inscribed in the tree, my name was there as well, and as I looked, the words keep changing, and this confirmed that it's a lucid dream also, because in lucid dreams, the text don't appear the same, it keeps changing, and I also had a digital watch, and when I look at the time, it also keep changing, the time keep changing.

And I was walking there along the grass patch, and beside there was a road, then there was somebody on a bicycle road pass, I touched him, but just barely, and he rode very fast away, he was an Indian man, and then along came another Indian man, and this time I asked him, he also rode bicycle very fast, asking what is your name, and he mentioned his name clearly, but I can't remember now, and then he also rode fast.

And then now I keep exploring the area there, touching everything, rubbing this and rubbing that, it was so realistic, so clear, everything was so clear, and I didn't bother to do sadhana or any of the mind-focusing thing, because I remember that trying to do sadhana, healing or loving-kindness, and any of the mind-focusing thing, it would cause the dream to collapse, so I just explore.

I keep moving and moving and exploring, and see how long it lasts, and then I think I reached one stage where I slowed down, and ran out of things to do, and I think that's when the dream faded.

So I think no matter what, if you keep on insisting on the breathing in and breathing out,

and counting, and feeling the breath, and feeling the whole body, for sure you can sleep,

just be patient, for sure you can sleep, and have lucid dreams.

And earlier in before this lucid dream, I also had very few dreams in which I was talking to a group of friends about lucid dreaming as well, and wished that we could share lucid dreams, and they agreed, and then there was a girl as well, I wanted to ask her to be a lucid dream partner, she was in a rush, rushing here, rushing there, and running, and it was at night, and in the end I told her, I did ask her that did you know about lucid, what is lucid dream, she doesn't know, and I explained a bit. And then she was so rushed that in the end I told her, are you in a hurry, she said yes, then I said maybe next time I'll talk to you, she looks like Chan Lin Li.

So now I'll pursue this new strategy that I started yesterday, I restarted the Muse headband yesterday, and I think I will use it for two purposes. Firstly to achieve enlightenment through mindfulness of breathing Anapanasati by practicing with the headband, and the second purpose is to use it to help me fall asleep at night, and whenever I awake from a dream, I will keep very still not to move, and I will use, then I will do the test - exit technique test,

and then I will do this breathe counting and fall back to sleep to get into the lucid dream or OBE, this will be my new strategy.  I will use the Muse headband for practice during the day, and at night do breathing, counting and breathing.

455-LD: Sluggish checking bed partner

 

8:21am

I have been doing mindfulness of breathing with counting, one breathe in, one breathe out, two breathe in, two breathe out, and so on, using muse. 

I got up pass urine as usual, drink water at 5 something, went back to bed and continue to do this breathing counting.

And I found myself in a dream, non-lucid, where I was in a Butterworth house, rented house, and in the house, my wife mentioned that she couldn't sleep with me in the bed,

in the same room tonight.

And there was another girl who looked like Ch'ng, and she was going to take her place, which is quite strange, and then at night, I went to bed wearing face mask.

And I was just wondering whether it was really Ch'ng, that was lying down on my right. It was dark, I was wearing face mask, I wanted to see, so I tried to pull out my face mask to see, but it was very sluggish, it was difficult to pull it up.

And I thought at first, why not just forget it and go back to sleep and try to induce a lucid dream, rather than trying to find out if it really was another girl who was taking the place of my wife in bed, but then I insist on trying to pull out the face mask to see.

And after pulling out the face mask to see, I was surprised that I was in my actual bed, and there was my wife WP instead, and this time I woke up, and then only realized that the first time I woke up in my bed, it was a false awakening.