466-OB: Peering at hands in front of bedroom door

 

5:37 am

Throughout the day, I practiced the Zaritski Method and then before bed, I also practiced the Zaritski Method while lying down in bed. Then I went to sleep partially using the Zaritski Method and also Joy on Demand, got up at 4 a.m. pass urine, drink water and then went back to bed practicing the Zaritski Method just one round.

And then just Joy on Demand and the next awakening, I practiced the Zaritski Method while keeping still. And also I did it gently so that it helped me fall asleep as well. And I continued doing that for a few rounds. And then while lying on my right, in between the Zaritski Method, I felt steady, fuzzy. And then I imagined that I can clap my hands and I managed to will myself to go deeper and managed to clap my hands and rub it.

And then I rubbed my forearms up to the shoulder of both hands. And then I used my left hand and rubbed on the right hand side of the bed beside me and started rolling over to the right. And then I remember Wai Peng was sleeping on my right. I changed direction. I used my right hand and rolled over and rubbed the left hand side of the bed. I rolled my legs over onto the floor, stood up, and rubbed the wall, the curtain on my left. And then right hand, I also rubbed the mattress and I rubbed the curtain on my left.

And then I walked towards the book shelf in front. I then rubbed the book shelf and then in front of Vajrayogini. I gave thanks to Vajrayogini. Then I continued rubbing the wall on the left and walked towards the door of my room. Before I reached the door of my room, I peered at both my hands, one after another, looking at the skin texture until it turned brown. And then I also looked at the palm skin texture until it turned brown. The moment I could see my skin texture, light came into the room, light and colour.

And then I continued walking towards the door of my bedroom, continued to peer at my hands to maintain the light and colour. I opened the door, the knob handle, and walked into the living room. At first, it was partially dark. I then peered at my hands again and brought the light and colour into the living room. No need to use the switch to turn on the lights. The living room looked exactly like my apartment. I then walked towards the kitchen. The front part of the living room already had light and colour, so I walked to the kitchen.

It was still partially dark. There was a switch on the right wall. I tried to turn on the switch, but no light came. But it was okay. I then opened the bathroom door and the back room. It was dark inside, nobody there. Then I wanted to open the middle room door as well. I think I did. It was also dark. And then I turned right. I wanted to continue walking back to the front part of the living room. But then a dream faded. It was quite long, a dream.

Here is the Zaritski method I practiced. Upon awakening, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror. If nothing, try to roll to the side and stand up in the bedroom. If nothing, then go to the first round. Look at the closed eyelids for a few seconds. Followed by hear the sounds. Then try to move your phantom hand up and down. Then fall asleep. Then go to the second round. Before sleeping, you practice joy on demand demand. Then go to the second round and repeat, starting from looking at the closed eyelids. Then hear the sounds. Then move your phantom hand. Then fall asleep at the end of the second round. Then go to the third round and repeat the same thing. And finally at the fourth round, after you are moving the phantom hand, go to sleep using the joy on demand. And then at the next round, we are repeating the same thing.

465-OB: Rub carpet in hall

 

7:47am

I did Joy On Demand and also Vajrayogini. I lay on my right, I had an early morning phase feeling and I allow him to deepen, I could hear background voices, it's like singing some kind of artificialhigh pitched sound, like a children, artificial robotic children's sound singing in the background.

Then I managed to grab my hands and rub it and also rub all the way to my face and then I rubbed my torso as well and then rubbed back up to my face. I was lying on the right edge of my bed and I used my left hand to touch the side of the bed frame and I rolled over onto the floor of my bedroom.

Everything was dark and I rubbed my both hands on the floor and then I rubbed forwards a little bit and I peered at my hand to try to bring in color and light, I peered at my back of my right hand and so it turned brown color and at the same time the light came into the world and everything became bright.

I saw that I was in a big living room and it was lighted and I was on the floor rubbing the carpet, it was thick carpet. There were some chairs on the right and left I think and curtains in the far distance and I rubbed a little bit too hard with my left hand and I felt my hand in bed move and I eased up a bitbut my right hand was okay.

I continued to rub but I rushed to bring my left hand back into the dream and the dream faded. Earlier I got up to pass urine and drink water around 5 something and I had a great difficulty falling back to sleep for a long time.

464-LD: Legs sink through bathroom floor

9:28 am

This is the third lucid dream tonight. I was lying on my left, earlier I did the Vajrayogini transformation to fall asleep and I dreamt I was having a bath in the toilet bathroom.

I was facing the toilet flush looking up and there was a shower head at the top of the toilet tank flush and there was also a transparent plastic container that contained sometransparent liquid which looks like shampoo.

I wanted to use the shower spray and I couldn't pull the shower spray because it was too high and I kept adjusting and I turned some tap and found that the water sprayed straight down onto the area in front of me.

There was some small tank I think and then I found that my legs were sinking into the floor and I was going lower and lower and I felt that this is so strange and I suspect it's a dream. So I clapped and rubbed my hands, I felt the familiar hand rubbing friction and I became so surprised and happy that this is a dream.  

So as my legs went through the floor, I sank lower and lower and I woke up.

 

463-LD: Pinched nose test forgotten dream

 

8:30 am

I suddenly realized this could be a dream. I clapped my hands and rubbed and felt the familiar rubbery feeling of palms rubbing. I then did pinched nose test and could breathe. I was so happy. I started walking forwards.

462-OB: PC monitor on bed

 

7:32 am

Doing mostly Vajrayogini, imagine myself as Vajrayogini, I managed to fall asleep. Got up as usual, drink water, go back to bed, again do Vajrayogini transformation and then lying on my left, I felt the phase state and it actually was a false awakening. I already in a dream but not aware of it.

I was lying on my bed and lying on my left. My wife got up and she wanted to send mother to hospital, earlier on I got up and turn off the aircon and she went to bathroom, then I went back to bed.

Then I fell asleep again lying on my left using Vajrayogini transformation. Then after she came out of bathroom, I think she wanted to pay some bill. The computer was in our bedroom but actually in real life the computer is not in our room but in this dream which is a false awakening which I'm not aware, the computer was in the room.

I was on the right side of the bed facing the wall and she asked me how to click, which part to click to pay the bil. From the bed I turn and look at her, I roll to the right and look at her and I told her click the column, there was a black Microsoft DOS window, I was referring to that but she couldn't understand so I was felt a bit irritated as I roll over, get up from bed, step up and went to the monitor to show her and but then the monitor was now on the bed.

The monitor suddenly was on the bed, then I try to look at the monitor while I was standing on her right, she was seated on the chair but I couldn't, I told her that oh, no clear, I cannot see clearly and felt irritated again and I said is it okay we do it tonight, we do it later and then she said okay, okay. 

So she went out of the bedroom to have breakfast probably and I went back to bed lying down on my left and lying down on the edge of the bed facing left and I was afraid I might fall off the bed but I said never mind. I just do it so I tried to induce the morning phase state and surprisingly it was so easy. I just imagined, imagine the phase state and I let it deepen and deepen. As it deepen I then tried to clap my hands and it was so easy, I managed to clap, I was so happy. 

I was not aware that all this was false awakening. I clapped my hands and rub it and rub it and rub the forearms all the way to my face, rub my face and then rub my body.

I was turning around and wanted to step up on floor beside my bed so I roll around to the right and let my body fall on the floor and as the body fell on the floor I landed on the floor and felt my feet on the ground on the floor of my bedroom.

Also my both hands felt the floor and I stand up. I stand up and then I walk towards the bedroom door. On the left I pass by the altar of Vajrayogini, I put both palms together and thank Vajrayogini for this out of body experience.

I open the bedroom door and step out and it was the Raja Uda house, upstairs, left was the banister. I felt my both palms on it and walked forward, felt both hands on the banister, I walked forward on the wooden floor and I thought to myself oh I don't want to explore Raja Uda house, I want to go somewhere else. 

So I continued to walk forward. Imagine there was a door in front, a white colored door appeared. I put my hand on the handle and my mistake was I didn't imagine enough what was going to be beyond the door and I was a bit rushed. I opened the door I tried to imagine beyond it is snow. Suddenly a snow-filled sky appeared and I should have imagined something else better, maybe another room or hall, but I was rushed. 

I opened the door and true enough it was snow and I walked through the door and fell into free fall and I was falling down and I yelled ah...  This was not what I expected for sure. I fell into free fall and I almost woke up there but then I held it together and I imagined landing in my bed which was a mistake.

So I landed on my bed and still facing left lying on my left and my right hand managed to touch the bed mattress and I woke up. Whatever you do in future don't ever imagine landing in your bed because the whole idea of out of body experience is to do separation.  That means to get out of bed but instead I imagine landing back in the bed and that's what triggered the end of the dream.

When I woke up only then I realized earlier on it was a false awakening. I should have done peering to make the objects have more color and luminosity and more clarity. Also, should have done continuous rubbing hands all the way so that when I fell down in free fall I could have recovered if necessary and re-enter the dream.

461-LD: Old watch and foggy mirror

 

7:18 am

I had difficulty going to go back to sleep. This is the second lucid dream.

So I lie down on my right.

I visualize myself transforming into Vajrayogini.

And also for a brief moment, I recite her mantra slowly.

And I managed to enter a dream.

I wasn't aware of it as a dream.

I was in a room.

And I was staying with Jerome and Michael Chai's house in KL.

And they were outside, somewhere in the house.

It was in the morning.

I noticed that my thinking was slow and sluggish.

And I was having a vague sense of a dreamy state.

And I was still aware of my doing Vajrayogini, transforming,

and visualizing myself as Vajrayogini.

And there was a bed on my left.

And I was looking at the wall or mirror and getting ready to go to school.

And I look at the clock, look at my watch.

I tried to check the time.

I was afraid that I might be late and I might miss the school bus.

So I took out the watch and look at the time.

And it was 8 something.

But it was an old watch and I didn't recognize it.

So I look for another watch and pick it up.

And again, it was an old watch.

And again, I didn't recognize it as mine.

And the time was also 8 something.

Then I was wondering, so quiet outside, have I missed the bus?

Then I suddenly realized that this could be a dream.

So I clapped my hands, did a pinch nose test, and I could breathe.

And I was so happy.

I knew that this is a dream.

And I was still in the dream, like between dream and waking. I went into

the bathroom and looked at the mirror but it was fogged. But I could see

my face was blurry because of the fog.

So I realized now that this is a false awakening.

The whole thing was a false awakening.

Trusting myself in Vajrayogini helped to overcome all the stress and the worries and the fears.

And I felt calm.

And that's what helped me when I could not sleep.

And that was the second dream.

460-OB: Tap bedframe loudly

 

4:59 am

I've been doing the joy-on-demand teachnique and got up, passed urine and drink water, went back to bed

and lying on my right, I had a dream, something related to lucid dreaming.

And then coming out of that dream, I found myself in a phase state

and I clapped and rubbed my hands and rubbed all the way to my face.

I was very happy and then I rubbed the bed frame on the left

and put my feet on the floor of my bedroom

and I stood up beside my bed.

And I also tapped the bed frame with my knuckes, with my fingers of my right hand

and I heard the sound of the tapping quite loud.

And then I also rubbed the curtains on my left

and I was about to walk forward, but the dream faded.

Earlier, going back to bed, I felt a vibration in the core of my torso, in the chest area, kind of humming

and I allowed it to deepen by itself, after that I went into a kind of non-lucid dream.

459-LD: Roll out from bedroom

 

8:34 am

I am practicing total acceptance and welcoming, lying on my right.

I went in and out of several dreams.

And in one of it, I dreamt I was in the middle bedroom of N-Park house.

I was supposed to be sleeping there, all sitting down.

And then the door was open and I rolled out.

And so I was surprised that I can roll out.

And when I looked out, I saw that the living room in the kitchen was empty.

It was dark. I expected to see my wife there, but it was empty.

Then I realized that it is a dream.

I was so happy. I clapped my hands and rubbed it.

And then the dream faded.

But I still managed to rub my finger against my palm as the dream faded.

And I thought to re-enter the dream.

458-OB: Drink orange in front of mirror

 

7:43 am

I did the tm mantra, and I managed to fall asleep easily.

Earlier, I got up from bed at five something to pass urine and drink water.

And then now, on my left, I entered the early morning phase state.

After a few times in and out of dreams,

I felt the phase state.

And then I wished that this could...

I then tried to feel my hands,

and clapped them, and I rubbed.

And I managed to do it.

Then I rubbed all the way up.

And early on, when the phase state began to be felt,

I wished for it to deepen.

And I was patient, not hurrying it.

And it really deepened.

And then I rubbed all the way to my face, patiently.

And then rubbed my chest.

And then I rubbed the side of the bed frame.

And I put my feet on the floor, the cement floor.

I could feel it, clearly.

It was a bit cold.

And I stood up in my bedroom beside my bed.

I then rubbed the curtain on my left.

And I rubbed the bed on the right.

And I also rubbed the floor with my hands.

And I walked towards the altar of Vajrayogini.

And I put my palms together.

I gave thanks to thank you, Vajrayogini.

I then knelt on the floor and did prostration in gratitude.

The room was a little dark.

I stood up and I walked towards the door of my bedroom.

I touched the wall on my left as I walked towards the door.

And when I reached the door, I stopped for a while, peering at my right hand.

And the right hand texture became clear, brownish skin color.

And at the same time, the door also became light gray color with textures.

And then I opened the door and looked outside.

It was a big room, big hall.

I saw the kitchen, but it was different from my N-Park one.

And it was semi-dark.

I walked towards the kitchen.

And on the right, I flipped on some switches.

It was the switch on the lights.

Then I imagined that the switch moved.

And once the switch moved, it was on position.

The yellow light on the left ceiling turned on.

I did the same with the second switch.

And then I turned around and walked towards the living room area

and also reached for the switches on the right wall.

I also turned on the switches.

And the yellow light came on.

And I did a few other light switches as well.

And for some of the light that went off, I reimagined the light on again.

And it came on again.

I was so happy.

I now walked towards the front part.

And then I saw a bright area.

And this was actually the kitchen, the pantry.

And there were people there.

And there was a fridge.

I opened the fridge.

And inside there were many drinks, bottle drinks.

I took out one orange colored bottle,

opened the cap and drank it and tasted orange juice.

And it was so real.

And I talked to people there.

There was a boy on the left.

In front of me there was a mirror.

I looked into it and saw my reflection.

I looked a little bit like Blake.

A bit plumpish.

I then tapped on the mirror with my right knuckle

and spoke to myself.

This is you. This is who I am.

And I'm really here.

And then I told myself, enjoy.

And I turned back.

And the boy who looks a bit like B.S. Lim's son,

he asked me, where is your spouse?

And I replied something.

And I turned left.

And then I turned right again.

And I wanted to continue walking.

And then the dream faded.

So the trick is to use the tm mantra to go deep.

Only then, when you're deep enough, you can reach the state.

So that's why, while I'm on the left,

I felt faintly the early morning phase state.

And then it was enough.

I will imagine it to deepen.

And it deepened.

As it deepened, I need to be patient, not to rush.

And once it's deep enough, I then imagine my hands

rubbing it and clapping it.

And then it made all the difference.

The exit technique.

During the day, I did joy on demand throughout the day.

And before I sleep, I also did joy on demand.

Only after getting up at 4 o'clock and going back to bed,

when all else failed, then I did the tm mantra.

And it really worked to go deep.

Here's the trick.

When you start to feel the very faint early morning phase state,

that's the time you don't rush.

But you're very subtle and gentle.

You wish that it deepened.

And allow it to deepen on its own.

Don't force it.

And as it deepens, you will feel the fuzzy feeling.

Very dull humming and fuzzy feeling.

And then once it deepens, it's like you are moving backwards

a little bit, like falling backwards.

And that's a sign that you can start to materialize the hands.

So that's the time you wish that you can imagine your hands in front

and when it appears you start clapping and rubbing.

And that's all.

The exit technique.

457-LD: Big wooden-style legal office

 

6:39am

I did mindfulness of breathing in and out, and also feeling the whole body.

I got up to pass urine at 5 something, went back to bed, lying on my left, did the mindfulness to fall asleep.

I got in and out, in and out of several dreams.

Then, in one dream, I dream I was working as a clerk in a legal firm.

I was sitting in a very big, big office hall. It's made of wood and huge.

There were so many staff. I was sitting somewhere at the back.

There was a chief clerk on the left giving instructions, and everybody now has to go out for lunch.

There were some rules during lunch. Everybody has to vacate office and must do it fast.

There was a chief clerk there, shooing everybody out.

The last two person out was just me and another lady. She quickly dashed out of the open door, while the chief clerk was waiting on the left.

I followed quickly and ran out of the door too.

Outside now, there was a corridor. It was outdoors.

On the left, there was a row of shrubs, bushes.

I wanted to fly, so I got up and flew above the bushes and went out into the sky.

After lunch, I came back into the legal firm, but sat at somebody else's table in front, nearer to the exit.

It was a wooden table, and there was a senior staff, a man, Chinese in front, and there were other staff sitting left and right.

We were going to try to do some experiment to induce some kind of lucid dreaming state.

They gave me a piece of tissue paper, folded in triangular shape.

I was supposed to press it to cover my left eye.

I noticed there were some stains on the tissue paper used to wipe my mouth earlier.

I then put my elbows on the table and used my left hand to cover the tissue paper over my left eye, and with my right hand, I did the same thing over my right eye.

And then I had the feeling that once I did that, I'm going to enter a very deep state, a deep phase state, and all the rest will just find it difficult to wake me up later.

I then entered into a phase state and became lucid in that this is a dream.

I saw a vision of me looking through a peephole at a table where I was sitting, and I got so excited.

I said, yes, this is it, and I almost lost the dream there.

But then I calmed down and entered the dream again, and I was so happy.

I started to walk, and I walked away from the table, and I tapped the floor with my hands and felt the cement floor.

And then I also touched objects on my right, and I rubbed my hands and felt the arms and hands rubbing.

I walked past the bookshelf, and I pulled out some books and let it land on the floor.

I had to keep moving to keep lucidity going.

I then talked to myself. I said, yes, Paul, you did it.

And I could hear myself talking clearly in this dream.

I was excited and happy, and I continued walking forward like this, a bit rushed.

And then the dream faded.

The mistake was my hands were not rubbing together, so I could not re-enter the dream and I also

did not peer at my hands to bring in more clarity.

My main practice today and at night as well was, no matter what, just do your best to try to feel the breath mindfully, and also feel the whole body while breathing.

Do your best, even though it's not easy, just do your best, but always try it.

And then during the day it's also the same.

In any action that you do throughout the day, just try your best to be as mindful of the breath, and then the breathing with the whole body as well.

Just be patient, and also don't force it. Be gentle while you're doing this.

456-LD: Muse-Indian on bicycle

 

9:38am

This is the second lucid dream. I went to bed again, practicing MUSE breathing, counting breathing in, out, counting one in, two out, one out, two in, two out, and then feeling the whole body repeating the same thing.

In, feel the whole body, two breathe, feel the whole body, and then I went in and out with several dreams, and each time I came out of the dream, I can easily go back to sleep just by doing the counting of the breath, thanks to the MUSE breathing, which I restarted earlier yesterday. I stopped MUSE for, I think one year plus, now I restarted again.

So in this second lucid dream, I was, found myself in a building, and I think it was white, inside, I was inside, and then realized that this could be a dream, and I clapped my hands, and I heard the clapping, it was so loud, and the clap feels very real, more real than

the other previous OBS and dreams.

And then I started flying, flying around, and I touched everything as I flew, I touched, and I flew out of the building, I flew very fast, up in the air, like Superman, and I flew with wild abandoned, not bothering whether or not the dream would fade, and below me the scenery zoomed very fast, and then I decided to land somewhere, and I landed on the grass, in the daytime, it was open area, there were houses all around, and I flew quite fast as I landed, and I rubbed my hands across the grass, the grass felt very real, and I was so happy.

And I also went to a tree, tree trunk, I put my both hands on the tree and touched it, and I could see some words inscribed in the tree, my name was there as well, and as I looked, the words keep changing, and this confirmed that it's a lucid dream also, because in lucid dreams, the text don't appear the same, it keeps changing, and I also had a digital watch, and when I look at the time, it also keep changing, the time keep changing.

And I was walking there along the grass patch, and beside there was a road, then there was somebody on a bicycle road pass, I touched him, but just barely, and he rode very fast away, he was an Indian man, and then along came another Indian man, and this time I asked him, he also rode bicycle very fast, asking what is your name, and he mentioned his name clearly, but I can't remember now, and then he also rode fast.

And then now I keep exploring the area there, touching everything, rubbing this and rubbing that, it was so realistic, so clear, everything was so clear, and I didn't bother to do sadhana or any of the mind-focusing thing, because I remember that trying to do sadhana, healing or loving-kindness, and any of the mind-focusing thing, it would cause the dream to collapse, so I just explore.

I keep moving and moving and exploring, and see how long it lasts, and then I think I reached one stage where I slowed down, and ran out of things to do, and I think that's when the dream faded.

So I think no matter what, if you keep on insisting on the breathing in and breathing out,

and counting, and feeling the breath, and feeling the whole body, for sure you can sleep,

just be patient, for sure you can sleep, and have lucid dreams.

And earlier in before this lucid dream, I also had very few dreams in which I was talking to a group of friends about lucid dreaming as well, and wished that we could share lucid dreams, and they agreed, and then there was a girl as well, I wanted to ask her to be a lucid dream partner, she was in a rush, rushing here, rushing there, and running, and it was at night, and in the end I told her, I did ask her that did you know about lucid, what is lucid dream, she doesn't know, and I explained a bit. And then she was so rushed that in the end I told her, are you in a hurry, she said yes, then I said maybe next time I'll talk to you, she looks like Chan Lin Li.

So now I'll pursue this new strategy that I started yesterday, I restarted the Muse headband yesterday, and I think I will use it for two purposes. Firstly to achieve enlightenment through mindfulness of breathing Anapanasati by practicing with the headband, and the second purpose is to use it to help me fall asleep at night, and whenever I awake from a dream, I will keep very still not to move, and I will use, then I will do the test - exit technique test,

and then I will do this breathe counting and fall back to sleep to get into the lucid dream or OBE, this will be my new strategy.  I will use the Muse headband for practice during the day, and at night do breathing, counting and breathing.

455-LD: Sluggish checking bed partner

 

8:21am

I have been doing mindfulness of breathing with counting, one breathe in, one breathe out, two breathe in, two breathe out, and so on, using muse. 

I got up pass urine as usual, drink water at 5 something, went back to bed and continue to do this breathing counting.

And I found myself in a dream, non-lucid, where I was in a Butterworth house, rented house, and in the house, my wife mentioned that she couldn't sleep with me in the bed,

in the same room tonight.

And there was another girl who looked like Ch'ng, and she was going to take her place, which is quite strange, and then at night, I went to bed wearing face mask.

And I was just wondering whether it was really Ch'ng, that was lying down on my right. It was dark, I was wearing face mask, I wanted to see, so I tried to pull out my face mask to see, but it was very sluggish, it was difficult to pull it up.

And I thought at first, why not just forget it and go back to sleep and try to induce a lucid dream, rather than trying to find out if it really was another girl who was taking the place of my wife in bed, but then I insist on trying to pull out the face mask to see.

And after pulling out the face mask to see, I was surprised that I was in my actual bed, and there was my wife WP instead, and this time I woke up, and then only realized that the first time I woke up in my bed, it was a false awakening.